My beloved mother passed on last Friday Oct. 25th. She finally gave in to the cancer after a long hard battle. She nearly made it to her 68th birthday, she missed it by 2 weeks.
It's amazing how people/family act when there is a death. I have a sister in law who takes what she wants from my parents house without permission from anyone. My mother had lent her van to her one day and she never bothered to bring it back. My poor Dad doesn't like to confront anyone so he doesn't say anything. Her own car is broken down and has been for four or five months, she claims she cannot afford to repair it. What worries me is that if the van breaks down she won't be able to afford to repair it either! It will be my father's responsibility.
She tried to go through my parents financial business and I wouldn't let her, I am my Dad's power of attorney for medical and financial decisions etc and I just don't think she needs to know any of that. I don't want her asking for money from my Dad as he has cancer also and pays 20% of his hospital, doctor and chemotherapy bills. He will need what very little money he has for him to live. There's a possibility that he might live for a year or two, of course it could only be 6 months also but no one knows. He has around 35 thousand dollars and that isn't much!
I'm still staying at my parents home with my Dad and will until I know he's able to care for himself or until he passes on also. It's hard to see the decline in health and very hard to see someone you love deteriorate in front of your eyes. The silver lining in all of this is spending time and getting to know my parents and become closer to them in the time they have left.
I've been doing well keeping track of my finances and have been writing all transactions in a small notebook for cash spent and updating my checking register instead of just checking online as it forces me to write down every transaction on that account.
Greedy People
October 31st, 2013 at 09:30 pm
October 31st, 2013 at 10:00 pm 1383256805
As for greedy people - sadly that happens all the time.
It just makes me sick how some people look at the death of a loved one and only see $$$.
October 31st, 2013 at 10:32 pm 1383258757
Does your dad want the van back? Does he need it back? If so, I think you should just tell your sister-in-law "Dad needs his van, you will have to return it." Maybe he feels she needs it more than he does and is OK with her keeping it?
People can do some selfish and hurtful things when a loved one dies. It is sad.
October 31st, 2013 at 11:00 pm 1383260418
October 31st, 2013 at 11:03 pm 1383260590
It's a shame how selfish some people can be, only thinking of their own needs
October 31st, 2013 at 11:24 pm 1383261851
I would tell the in law to return the van immediately or that your will meet her and drive her home when she drops it off.
This reminds me of the guy who was my Mom's handy man. My mom passed the day before and we were outside under a tree planning her funeral. He drives up and yells out the window "hey, I heard about yer mom... what are you askin' for the car?" I can't make this stuff up. People are bizarre.
October 31st, 2013 at 11:48 pm 1383263289
Your SIL sounds very self absorbed. What is your brother saying? When people ask inappropriate questions I've found it useful to have a couple of responses to shut them down. My favorite is "Why do you ask?' Another is to ask the questioner the very same question. I'm always astounded by the gall of people who should know better.
November 1st, 2013 at 01:32 am 1383269575
November 1st, 2013 at 01:42 am 1383270133
November 1st, 2013 at 01:44 am 1383270283
November 1st, 2013 at 01:59 am 1383271179
November 1st, 2013 at 04:02 am 1383278571
Unfortunately, death bring out a lot of very UGLY true colors. It's a story that is all too common.
November 1st, 2013 at 04:17 am 1383279435
November 1st, 2013 at 06:35 am 1383287727
I posted similar thoughts about the behavior of people when there is a death. It's much wordier than yours, but here's the link http://wino.savingadvice.com/2013/03/10/death-and-money_1015...
November 1st, 2013 at 01:02 pm 1383310961
November 1st, 2013 at 02:21 pm 1383315677
November 1st, 2013 at 05:43 pm 1383327793
And I will agree that death (and usually money) can turn people into horrible monsters.
November 3rd, 2013 at 06:47 pm 1383504461