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Greedy People

October 31st, 2013 at 02:30 pm

My beloved mother passed on last Friday Oct. 25th. She finally gave in to the cancer after a long hard battle. She nearly made it to her 68th birthday, she missed it by 2 weeks.

It's amazing how people/family act when there is a death. I have a sister in law who takes what she wants from my parents house without permission from anyone. My mother had lent her van to her one day and she never bothered to bring it back. My poor Dad doesn't like to confront anyone so he doesn't say anything. Her own car is broken down and has been for four or five months, she claims she cannot afford to repair it. What worries me is that if the van breaks down she won't be able to afford to repair it either! It will be my father's responsibility.

She tried to go through my parents financial business and I wouldn't let her, I am my Dad's power of attorney for medical and financial decisions etc and I just don't think she needs to know any of that. I don't want her asking for money from my Dad as he has cancer also and pays 20% of his hospital, doctor and chemotherapy bills. He will need what very little money he has for him to live. There's a possibility that he might live for a year or two, of course it could only be 6 months also but no one knows. He has around 35 thousand dollars and that isn't much!

I'm still staying at my parents home with my Dad and will until I know he's able to care for himself or until he passes on also. It's hard to see the decline in health and very hard to see someone you love deteriorate in front of your eyes. The silver lining in all of this is spending time and getting to know my parents and become closer to them in the time they have left.

I've been doing well keeping track of my finances and have been writing all transactions in a small notebook for cash spent and updating my checking register instead of just checking online as it forces me to write down every transaction on that account.

17 Responses to “Greedy People”

  1. Looking Forward Says:

    So sorry to hear of your mom's passing. ((HUGS))

    As for greedy people - sadly that happens all the time.
    It just makes me sick how some people look at the death of a loved one and only see $$$.

  2. Petunia 100 Says:

    I'm so sorry. Frown

    Does your dad want the van back? Does he need it back? If so, I think you should just tell your sister-in-law "Dad needs his van, you will have to return it." Maybe he feels she needs it more than he does and is OK with her keeping it?

    People can do some selfish and hurtful things when a loved one dies. It is sad.

  3. Joanne Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss of your Mom. Yes, people can ,and sadly do hurtful things. Five months is a long time to use the van. Maybe she thinks someone will just say 'keep it'', and she thinks no one is noticing.

  4. mamasita Says:

    I'm so sorry for your loss, may peace be with you and your family.

    It's a shame how selfish some people can be, only thinking of their own needs Frown

  5. wowitsawonderfullife Says:

    I am sorry to hear of your loss. A mom's love lives in your heart.
    I would tell the in law to return the van immediately or that your will meet her and drive her home when she drops it off.
    This reminds me of the guy who was my Mom's handy man. My mom passed the day before and we were outside under a tree planning her funeral. He drives up and yells out the window "hey, I heard about yer mom... what are you askin' for the car?" I can't make this stuff up. People are bizarre.

  6. snafu Says:

    {{{Hugs}}}, So sorry to learn your mom has passed on, please accept sincere condolences. I hope your memories of happier times will help to ease your sorrow.

    Your SIL sounds very self absorbed. What is your brother saying? When people ask inappropriate questions I've found it useful to have a couple of responses to shut them down. My favorite is "Why do you ask?' Another is to ask the questioner the very same question. I'm always astounded by the gall of people who should know better.

  7. Maranatha Says:

    Thank you all. My brother works out of town and doesn't really pay too much attention to most things she does. They live next door to my parents so the van is not too far from home. My Dad is heart broken, my parents were married for 50 years and he is dealing with his own battle with cancer. He doesn't need the van, he has his own vehicle. The van is just one thing, my father wanted to give my brother a valuable item he had from working in the oilfield, worth around 900.00 dollars and we couldn't find it. I asked my sister in law if she had it and sure enough she did, she did return it but that wasn't the point. It's that she took it without permission in the first place. She takes what she wants making sure that no one else will get it once my Dad passes on and we settle the estate. My mother was aware that there were some things missing but she did't want to upset my brother by saying anything to his wife. I guess I shouldn't worry about it but it just really goes all over me!

  8. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I'm sorry for your loss.

  9. Thrifty Ray Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Sounds like your dad needs a caring daughter to help right now, so thank goodness you are there for him. Take care of yourself too- losing a mom is so tough. Hugs.

  10. Carol Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. If you can, concentrate on the "silver lining" of getting close to them at this important time for all of you. It is very special to feel at peace and full of love for your parents at the time of their death. That will stay with you forever.

  11. MonkeyMama Says:

    I am very sorry for your loss.

    Unfortunately, death bring out a lot of very UGLY true colors. It's a story that is all too common.

  12. Kiki Says:

    I am so sorry for your loss and the family events.

  13. Wino Says:

    Firstly, condolences on your loss and heartfelt commiseration on your father's situation.

    I posted similar thoughts about the behavior of people when there is a death. It's much wordier than yours, but here's the link http://wino.savingadvice.com/2013/03/10/death-and-money_1015...

  14. CB in the City Says:

    I'm so sorry about your mother's passing -- and I'd like to smack your sister-in-law!

  15. PNW Mom Says:

    So sorry to hear of your mother's passing....prayers and hugs to you and your family.

  16. rachel021406 Says:

    Losing a parent is so hard. I am so sorry for your loss and will be thinking about you and your dad. I know it must be so hard on him. I hope you are able to spend some good quality time with him.


    And I will agree that death (and usually money) can turn people into horrible monsters.

  17. scfr Says:

    I'm so sorry for your loss and for the ugliness you are witnessing.

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